“A Real Political Party” « Bottoms Up

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September 28, 2009...11:01 am

“A Real Political Party”

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Outfit of Choice

: The outfits varied. During the day, I was usually dressed to the nines or in campaign clothes.  When partying came (depending on the type of party), I was in jeans and an average t.

Code Names

: Too general to single anyone out– to be fair, the three groups I was with was CMU’s College Republicans, MSU’s College Republicans, and Grand Rapids Community College College Republicans.

Drink of Choice

: Whatever a minor can get away with from an open bar.

Decided Party Spot

: The bars located on main street on Mackinac Island.

This blog is a little different, obviously by my “list introduction”, it is obvious that I wasn’t at CMU or Mt. Pleasant at all, instead, I was in Mackinac Island.  A certain Republican conference took place (it’s probably better I don’t give the conference title), and all College Republicans went for free to help campaign for different candidates running for office solely in the state of Michigan.

I’ve been a member of CMU’s College Republicans since last year.  Not only do we help out with local candidates, we get to meet some pretty “big wigs” of the national Republican party.  Last year, in February, I attended the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) where I met my current boyfriend and really got to network a lot.  College Republicans is a club of a great group of kids.  Yes, most of us are regular college partiers (without crossing the line too far), but all of us are good students with good morals from great families. Let’s just say that most of the bigger Republican events all is hard-work in campaigning until the sun goes down. Let me tell you, rich politicians know how to throw a pretty damn good party and they definitely do treat the cr’s pretty well– a free trip to mackinac including free fairy trips, free hotel rooms, free food, and “the drank”.

We get to the island Friday.  We were all exhausted, the ride was long, but we had no time to rest– campaigning started on the island right away.

CR's campaign outside of the Grand.

CR's in the Grand Hotel.

We were given a ton of campaign t-shirts–I managed to get free fleece with Mike Cox’s name on it–these politicians go all out and the campaign-helpers (college republicans) tour the island handing out literature and stickers.  After all, a straw poll took place that weekend and more times than not, the straw poll winner, is the election winner.  The candidates need all the campaigning help they can get to earn their spot.

We spent a lot of time at the Grand Hotel campaigning.  Let me tell you, that place is incredibly overrated, but some pretty cool events went on.  At one of the debates,  our particular group was able to meet Bill Hardman, Mike Bishop, Bill Scheutte, Terri Lynn Land, Rick Snyder, Mike Cox, and Mitt Romney.

Friday night, we were rewarded with open bars and free dinners.  The X’s on the minors hands were washed off and the free drinks showered upon us, but this got old fast.  The real parties are Saturday night so the cr’s all returned to their hotels at St. Ignace.  The majority of our group stayed at the Comfort Inn-

Party at the Comfort Inn.

(I don’t recommend it by the way– quite a few of us woke up with bed bugs Saturday morning, but that’s not what this blog is about…) and it was there that we threw our own little party.

WATERFALL!

It got out of hand fast.  Shots were downed within the first half hour causing short-term happy drunk followed by a long-term pukey drunk. We were all engaged in serious competitive drinking games including “waterfall” and “short bus” when the girls and I decide to go outside and get some air.  We were taking pictures when these twins decided it would make a cute picture if one jumps in her sister’s arms.  In the process, her finger broke– there was a lot of screaming.  My boyfriend, Zack and I left shortly after that– it was too loud.  We were far too afraid the cops would come.

Twins are down!

Saturday goes the same way– we were all sleepless, but we pushed through to support the candidates again.  It was the second day of straw poll– our last morning of campaigning.  We hit the bars around 11 am.  I’m not kidding.  Drunk politicians swarmed the island early.

Also, Zack and I switched our hotel that day. As somewhat foreshadowed earlier, we woke up with BED BUGS at the Comfort Inn– there was no way I was going back.  I woke at six am flicked the lights on and just counted them on Zack’s body and sheets while I screamed for him to wake up.  We weren’t the only ones.  In fact, I still plan on calling and cussing out a manager sometime this week. 

So we switched the hotel to Sunset Condos– so cute and conveniently located on the island, but while in the carriage ride/cab ride to sunset condos we had an unforgettable experience.  The cabs are horse and buggies on Mackinac Island– there are no vehicles except for boats, bikes, and carriages.  It’s for the colonial spirit, I guess.  Joining us in the carriage was a huge group of swingers (they never told us, but it was pretty obvious), they were staying in the same hotel condo “complex” as we were and they were all drunk out of their minds telling Zack and I how adorable we are together as a young Republican couple and how they’ve come from all over the country to meet up this weekend at Mackinac.

Zack and me waiting for the carriage.

Also, they’re all wearing wigs and yelling inappropriate, but hysterical things such as “I’m fuckin’ forty with three kids! Ya’ll are so young and precious I miss those days!” They were the craziest bunch of middle-aged adults I’ve ever met.  The one woman sitting beside Zack was absolutely adorable and hysterical. Typically a woman of forty who looks like a hot chick in her late twenties with three kids is easily considered a MILF (mother I’d like to fuck).  She was by far the most craziest/drunkest.  At one point she had her legs “spread eagle” doing a plunging motion to and from her “vaginal region”. She kept touching at Zack’s face talking about his eyes and his great hair and she especially fell in love with his cartilage earring. She asked if she could kiss it and their drunken gang all egged her on.  I joined, because I was so amused by Zack’s level of discomfort that I had to support this drunken MILF’s desires.

She pecks his ear.  Everyone cheers.  Other conversations erupt and the next thing I know everyone is laughing and hollering– This woman had her tongue in my boyfriend’s ear. I mean full out porn start tongue cycling motion in, out, and around the lobe.  Zack’s face was an expression of shock, humiliation, fear, and humor.  I was in tears laughing so hard.

Finally, the carriage ride ended.  They invited us to their hotel for some “fun and games” later– they all winked and kind of elbowed each other.  Zack and I decided not to put ourselves in that situation. We didn’t know what the hell we would expect.

Our Hotel: Sunset Condos

We went back to our room alone.  The room was adorable so we spent a few hours there before we went back to the tourist part of the island where all the big-party-open-bars and dinners were taking place.  Plus, Zack had this gut-eating “urge” to scrub  his ear out. I don’t blame him.  

When we did return we went out to eat and witnessed some of the drunkest, most ridiculous political discussions and pathetic sleeze-ball dancing of our lives.  Beer and foo-foo drinks and you name it were all clutched in the hands of the under-aged cr’s– however, they were all incredibly careful about not getting kicked out or noticed for under-aged drinking to avoid getting the candidate who had been throwing the party into any sort of career-jeopardizing trouble.  There were no MIP’s given out or DUI’s.  Thank God Mackinac island cops are on foot and bicycles and that no cars are allowed on the island.

I can’t wait for CPAC.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

FIRE: University of Rhode Island Student Senate Dumps College Republicans

Rhode Island College Republicans gear up for 2008 Election

College Republican Federation of RI Spending Fiscally Irresponsible

Swift Boat Veterans 2.0

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JimmyBean

October 1, 2009 at 8:22 am

I don’t know If I said it already but …This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,

A definite great read..Jim Bean

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oblin1vi

October 1, 2009 at 10:40 am

Thanks<3

I'm glad I'm interesting to someone!:)

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